Much Ado about Accents

Usha's latest post prodded a long-forgotten memory.

When I was working at my first job, I used to commute, with my coworkers, in a bus to the factory/lab. The commute was one of the best parts of the job because it gave me almost an hour of continuous reading time each way. Of course, sometimes the person sitting next to me would be chatty and I'd put my book away. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to talk as much I like to read!

So one day, I was engrossed in reading, when I felt someone occupy the seat next to me and I was amused to note that it was the Big Boss's nephew, who had recently joined the company. Big Boss was the General Manager. His nephew stood out in the crowd because of his ultra-hip haircut and his 'hi-fi' accent, as we girls called it. You see, this young man (let's call him B) had spent some years getting his higher education in the UK and thus spoke with what we called 'a foreign accent'.

Anyway, so B and I introduced ourselves and started talking. He turned out to be quite interesting (and not weird, as we used to think). We got around to talking about the row between Prince Charles and Lady Diana (Yes, it was that long ago!) and he asked me if I thought she should divorce him. He, in fact, asked me, "If your husband was super-rich, he made sure you led a comfortable life, didn't physically abuse you but had extra-marital affairs, what would you do? Would you leave him or ignore his infidelity?" I was quite flummoxed - this coming from an almost-total stranger! I don't remember exactly what I replied but I'm pretty sure the answer would be quite different, were he to ask me the same question today!

Well, after a little while, I gathered enough courage to ask him, "So why do you speak with this funny accent? (Okay, I may not have said "funny"!) And he said, "You know what, I'm not the one with an accent; you are! You speak with an Indian accent while I don't have any accent." It didn't make any sense to me! I prided myself on not having a regional accent at all and this guy says I have an Indian accent? He's nuts!!

Only now do I realise that he was probably right. In the West, especially in the US and UK, if you speak "like them", then you don't have any accent. While if you speak what I considered unaccented English, it is accented. And even among the English and the Americans, there are regional accents that set them apart: the Irish Brogue, the Southern Twang etc.

So I've come to the conclusion that we need to shed this complex about having or not having accents. They're no big deal. They just indicate where you are or where you came from and should be taken like that. Accents are "put on" or "modified" for clarity and better comprehension and not just for "impressing" people.

I wonder where in the world B is today and how he speaks! And does he have any idea that he has inspired a whole blog post?

Hero

On March 21st 2009,4 police officers of the Oakland Police Dept. in California were shot and killed by a criminal after a standoff. This was the top headline of the day and for the next few days. There was an immediate outpouring of grief for the dead men and support for the police department from all quarters: the common man, the media, the politicians. A few days later, a funeral/memorial service was held for them at a local stadium. Thousands attended the service. There was live coverage of the service by all local television stations. The fallen men's friends and coworkers came forward and spoke about them: about their lives and loves and memories of the past and dreams of the future. It was truly touching. Of course, there might have been some who felt that the event was politicised; senators were present, so was the Governor! But discounting that, all in all, I felt this was a fitting tribute to those who died fighting "the bad guys".

It made me think of Constable Tukaram Ombale, the brave Mumbai policeman who tackled Ajmal Kasab, one of the terrorists of the Mumbai terror attacks on Nov. 26th, 2008. He was armed with just a lathi - yes, just a baton - and yet, he jumped this guy who had sophisticated guns and who started shooting at him. He caught hold of Kasab's gun and even after being shot mutliple times in the stomach, did not let go of the gun. This gave the other cops the chance to attack Kasab (again, with just lathis) and thus capture him. I cannot even imagine the guts of Constable Ombale to be hugging the barrel of a gun that's spitting lead into him!

And watching the Oakland policemen's funeral, I thought to myself, did we, as Indians, value what constable Ombale did? Do we appreciate the enormity of his actions? If it had not been for him, the only terrorist caught alive in the whole attack wouldn't have been! And what is being done for Mr.Ombale's family today? Do we know? Do we care? After all the noise and hoopla from the political parties has died down, when there are more "current" affairs to look at, do we remember this courageous man who showed bravery in the most frightening of situations?

And then I read that Constable Tukaram Ombale is going to be awarded the Ashok Chakra. Well, some little corner of my heart is satisfied.

Come over, sometime.....

I met this lady, H, in my apartment complex a few months back. I helped her with something, she thanked me profusely and we chatted for a while. I discovered that she was from a city in India that I had spent some time in and had fond memories of; she also had a son of around the same age as mine. So like many of us who meet new people, we exchanged phone numbers and invited each other to our homes for play- dates with the kids. But somehow we never got around to calling each other or visiting each other. We met a couple more times as we were getting into or out of our cars in the common parking area or near our mailboxes and we repeated our invitations and assertions of "Coming over". And again, we never did.

Then one fine day, I met H again as I was coming in and she was going out of her building. I smiled at her and said brightly, "Hi H! How're you!" I was flabbergasted when she just looked through me and walked away without a word! I was pretty sure I had said those words to her quite audibly, so there was no question of her not hearing me or even not seeing me (you can't miss me if I'm in front of you, believe me!). Then why did she behave the way she did? I spent the next couple of hours analysing what I might have done to offend her (despite one part of me telling me to forget about it, that it was not worth thinking about). And try as I might, I couldn't think of anything at all.

Except that I'd not kept my promise of visiting her! But then, neither had she!

And that got me thinking, how much do we mean them when we say things like, "Come over to my place sometime", "Let's meet up for coffee/tea/lunch sometime"? I love to meet people and have them over but many a time, I am not able to actually do that. I get busy with my daily routine and am loath to disturb that, especially with a 5 yr-old who loves any distraction so that he can escape homework! So am I a liar for saying "I'll come over....", "Let's meet..." and then not doing it? Am I the only one or do others face this problem too? And how do people on the other side feel. I too have been on the receiving end of this but I let it go because I can understand the person's problems, but there might be some (like H) who feel strongly about taking things like casual invitations seriously. I am really curious.

I remember reading a post in a blog somewhere about something similar but don't remember whose blog that was. I'm posting this here so that I can get other opinions on this matter. Please let me know what you feel about this.

Meanwhile, I hope H can come up to me and tell me what really is bothering her.

Makeover!!

So what if I never got a glam makeover in my life (and never will, most probably!)? My blog just got one! And am I thrilled with it!

The whole credit for the new look of this blog goes to nm, who's a wizard at this. She just asked me a few questions, I sent her some of my photographs and she designed this lovely, professional-looking header. She also guided me step-by-step through the whole process of setting it up, making it sound so simple that even an html-illiterate like me could "get" it!

Nm, Thank You! For your sharing your creativity and your time, and for your patience with me as I groped my way along. I couldn't even have imagined it without you.

May your tribe increase! (pun intended!)

Escape..

Is it just me or do others get this feeling too sometimes?

Every time I spend some quality time at the library (not the usual run-dropbooksoff-pickbooksup-runback kind of visit), or read blogs about books, or get my usual update from the local bookstore I get this desperate, sinking feeling that there are SO MANY books out there, waiting to be read, enjoyed, analysed, discussed; so many stories to explore, to curl up with, to sink into... and just not enough hours in a day! I feel like even if I did do nothing but read, read, read for the rest of my life, I couldn't read enough!

But then, that's my idea of heaven! Oh, to have no worries - no meals to cook, no dishes to wash, no homework to be helped with - and just read and read and.....

"Thud". That was the sound of me returning to earth! Oh well, I'm grateful for the life I have and the family and friends I have near and far...and as for books, well, I'll get there - one page at a time!

Little joys!

One of the biggest advantages of volunteering as a teacher's helper in my son's class is that I've realised what a challenging (and sometimes thankless) job the teachers have. I mean, think about it; handling twenty kids, each of them one of a kind, each having a mind of his/her own (and speaking it!), some having 'off' days, others super-excited because of something..... And on rainy days, being cooped up in a classroom with all twenty of them for three hours at a stretch! Some days, I'm ready to tear my hair out and I'm only handling a few of them at a time, a couple of days a week! Needless to say, I'm all for teachers' salaries to be doubled, even tripled the current amount!!

Well, anyway, so that's the 'big' advantage. But there are a few little 'perks' that come from being with the kids over a period of time, getting to know them and earning their trust.

Like the time when this little girl, who's usually very shy and quiet, came up to me while all her friends were at recess. She speaks very softly so I had to lean close to hear her confide in me, "Mrs. K, I learnt how to tie my shoe-laces! My brother taught me how to. Look!" I was moved to tears that this little girl shared such an important achievement of hers with me! I congratulated her and she ran away to join her friends even before I could hug her.

And then, a few days back a new kid joined my son's class. He is very intelligent and articulate but had some initial adjustment problems. When I tried to get him to do something, he'd push my hand away saying, "Don't touch me." So imagine my surprise when he tapped me on my back the other day and when I turned around, pointed to his mouth and said, "I lost my tooth yesterday". "Wow!", I said, "So how did it fall off?"
He coolly replied, "Well, my mom just used my dad's pliers to pull it off", and walked away, leaving me fumbling for a response to that!

Later I felt pretty nice that this boy had gone from pushing me away to volunteering information(!!).
Thank God for the little joys in life!